I am what I am

[See Kurt Hummel. See Kurt Hummel looking incredibly unimpressed. Or trying to, anyway.]

An asylum. Really? Are we running through all medical facilities in events now? Should I expect to be in a veterinary clinic next week? This is seriously ridiculous, even for Wonderland.

Can we just fast-forward through the next couple of days somehow? There is absolutely nothing about this situation that suggests this event will be even remotely pleasant.

[That's all the bitching he has for now, but there will likely be more later. For now, he's just going to look down at his nails and wish he had a nail file on hand. It would keep him from freaking out about being LOCKED IN AN ASYLUM OH GOD THIS EVENT IS GOING TO BE AWFUL FOR MULTIPLE REASONS.]

[So, sometime after he sneaks away from Santana and her obsessive need for attention, Kurt's wandering around looking for somewhere to be. The video catches him wandering down an unfamiliar hallway, hoping that whatever's been out to get him won't find him if he's not on his usual stomping grounds, so to speak. It seems to be going well at first, though Kurt seems to be a little skittish, taking extra caution with his steps as though something is going to be flung at him, again, for the millionth time in two days.

He's hasn't posted deliberately like some of the others have - that would just scare his father, and nothing serious has happened yet. Still, he's seriously contemplating going back downstairs, knocking on his father's door, and hiding there until it's all over.

Then, something cracks beneath his feet and he freezes.

Hopefully he just...just stepped on something. Right?

Sadly no, that's not right. He looks down and there is a huge crack in the floor, like an earthquake just hit. For a second, Kurt is afraid to move, but then he tries to sprint off of it. Sadly, the second he moves, the floor collapses out from underneath him, and he falls. For a second it looks like he might be okay - he tries to grab hold of what remains of the floor, but that only last about a second before it snaps right off, and Kurt falls out of sight with a painful thud.

You don't get to see him get up. The camera flickers off there.

AND OH GOODNESS, IT WAS ALL ON THE NETWORK FOR HIS POOR FATHER TO SEE AND FRET OVER. And anyone else who cares too, of course.♥]

[The camera flickers on, and Kurt is there, directly facing the camera. He's sitting in a rather modern-looking white chair in his room, with one leg delicately crossed over the other, and his hands folded in his lap. Since all of the evidence of horrible makeovers and other things that shall not be discussed is gone, he's opted to just proceed like they never happened. Ever.]

Greetings, Wonderland. As I'm sure you may remember, there were attempts to start a glee club here in the mansion. There were many distractions along the way, some cruel and unusual, and others quite the pleasant surprise - [He gives the tiniest little wave at the camera as he says this - HI DAD. ♥ ] - however, it's about time we attempted to restore some normalcy.

Glee club, for those whose cultures are sadly lacking in high school-level musical education, is also known as a show choir. We sing and dance, and compete against other show choirs. Granted, competition would be near impossible, unless there's some other prison-like mansion in the near vicinity with an active glee club. But even without that, singing can be rather cathartic, so after all of these rough events, who wouldn't want to turn to something therapeutic for comfort?

[He adjusts his hair and beams at the camera, feeling like he's rocking this PSA just as much as he's rocking his current ensemble. Military chic with the tallest Doc Martens he owns was simply the only thing appropriate for a state of the union-esque video.] Now, there's only so many high school-aged people trapped here, sadly, so we're widening our circle to anyone who wants to join. We only have a small handful of members at the moment, which is problematic for a show choir, so I highly encourage any of you who have any interest in music whatsoever to join us. We could always use musicians as well, and our pianist seems to have disappeared.

Anyway, if you're interested, we're going to start meeting on Wednesday evenings in the Music Room. It's likely the safest day, since these events seem rather prone to falling on the weekend, but should that theory be proven wrong, well, we'll reschedule.

I believe that's all for now. We hope to see you at rehearsal. [He smiles, and the camera clicks off. PERFECT TAKE.]

[So, what did you think Kurt's dream would be? Attending fashion week? His name in lights? Succeeding in showbiz?

Well, you're wrong. He's dreaming about a garage. Specifically his father's garage - Hummel Tires and Lube. His father's there, but he's facing away, talking to someone just out of view. Dream logic says it's probably a customer.

Kurt is out of sight at first too, until he rolls out from underneath a car he was apparently working on. Strangely, it looks like Mr. Schue's car, even though he's not around anywhere. Kurt's not in anything he would usually wear either - just the coveralls he uses for when he helps in the garage. Anything else would simply get destroyed under these conditions.

He stands up, and after checking his hand to make sure there was no grime on it, he brushes his hair out of his eyes.]

Dad! Dad, I'm done!

[But his father doesn't turn around, so Kurt jumps up and down and waves his arms, and generally just looks very silly.]

Dad! Over here! Dad!

[Nope. He's still not looking. With a frown, Kurt goes back to the car, and finds something else to work on. The dream just seems to go in circles like this, with Kurt fixing a car, trying and failing to get his dad's attention, and going back to the car again with a sigh. Maybe he'll look the next time...]

[So, what do you do when you have a friend who distrusts the magic closets as a viable clothing source? Why you show him the way, of course, via an impulsive wardrobe makeover.

And of course, it is entirely ethical to break into said friend's room to do this, right? I mean, Kurt's only trying to help. Really. Besides, Finn shouldn't have left the door open.

So in Finn's room, Kurt has be working diligently at coming up with a variety of new looks for Finn. The room has a number of mannequins, all of them suspiciously tall, and wearing a wide variety of garments. Some are sporting clothes Finn might actually wear, and others are for more formal affairs with Kurt.

Then, there are some that are clearly Kurt bringing his...unique vision to Finn's wardrobe. ...infact, they might mostly be a little weird. Don't judge.

But he's proud of his current handiwork, though clearly peeking around for more to do.]

That boy really needs to learn how to dress himself. At the very least, I think this can be considered a significant improvement to wearing the same outfit every day.

[Kurt turns on his his communicator and looks directly into it - he's sending an SOS out on the network.]

Look. I know we spend ninety percent of our time on the network bickering...if not more, so this might sound unusual. [He shifts, straightening his posture out of nervous habit and turning his nose up.] ...But I haven't seen Rachel since that announcement. The one where she was arrested.

Has anyone seen her? Finn? Ms. Pillsbury? ...Anyone?

[He waits, as though the communicator will answer him. It doesn't.]

We need to find her, before something happens to her. I don't know who that Queen thinks she is, or what she thinks she's capable of...[Unfortunately, his bravery wavers a bit there.] ...but I'd rather not find out.

[He goes to shut it off, but before the feed dies, he mutters one last thing] ...I can't believe she was arrested for singing.

[After this thread, Kurt just couldn't take it anymore. Ugh, Rachel and her conceited, bossy, ego-centric, badly dressed self. Why did he have to be stuck here with her of all people? Well, Ms. Pillsbury was there too, but among his peers, he was stuck with Rachel. Where were Mercedes, and Finn, and Tina, and, well, anyone else except Puck? She had taken over the glee club enough times at McKinley though - just the thought of sitting by and letting her force her way into the leadership role made him cringe.

Apparently she had been thinking something similar, because when he entered the hall to go speak to her, she was there already, just two doors down. They stared at each other, for a second or so. Then, they knew there was only one way to settle this. An impromptu diva off, right here, right now. Rachel's big broadway voice has already been heard over the network, but this is the first time Kurt has sung for everyone. Kurt's voice is very high, and feminine. He could easily be mistaken for a woman if there wasn't video to go along with it.

Oddly enough though, even though they're about to sing out how much they hate each other, their voices actually harmonize nicely. Neither of them seem to notice they're being recorded.]

( Cut for length and to spare your eyes from the bright colors. )

[Kurt's up in his room, deliberating over something in his closet. There are pillows carefully lined up on the floor in a bed-like shape, because he still hasn't had the chance to properly redecorate, and his bed is still firmly lodged into his wall. He has a sheet awkwardly hung up where the door is supposed to be, is is going to pretend it's chic until he can fix it. Thanks a lot, Meriken. There are accesories all along the makeshift bedding, everything from hats to scarves to bandannas to sunglasses. It's starting to look like a Claire's in here.

He has his lunch from his mother Emma open on his desk, and he's been nibbling at it. He's also taped the note she wrote him to his mirror like a total mama's boy.

Kurt turns around with two hats in hand. He doesn't look at the camera though, but at the guest in his room.]

Well, what do you think, Pikachu? Charming little newsboy or debonair fedora?

[He lifts each one in turn, as though it will really help Pikachu weigh his options. ...YES HE'S PLAYING DRESS-UP WITH HIS PET; DON'T JUDGE. It should be the first thing everyone does with their Pikachu. Seriously. Plus they have time while they wait for Grandpa to come take pictures.]

Layout test post! You know, just seeing how italics, bold, underline, and links look.

Hopefully it all looks alright! ♥